remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
