I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
