Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
