I must be too annoying 4 u.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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