Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
