I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We left the knife in your bed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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