My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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