They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
