yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
