I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
they're like a gay fantastic four
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
