allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
