I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
