I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
