Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
