we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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