marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
