Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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