I wish I could punch you in the face.
I love black thongs
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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