I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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