someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
