I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Operation Purity has been aborted
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
