I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
