Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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