So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
