She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
