I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
