when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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