To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
