Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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