I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So much Jack, so little girl.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
