well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
