no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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