11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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