I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
