Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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