It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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