It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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