Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
