Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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