2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Porn is love you can see.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
