he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That accounts for only three of the penises
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
