So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
