I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
