whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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