Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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