i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
