If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
