she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
