Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
