They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
