i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
